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64) Emotional Ambush
The author reflects on their struggle with emotional ambushes, feeling unworthy of their pain and ashamed of their emotional responses. They highlight the deep impact these ambushes can have on children, shaping adult behaviors and fears. The post emphasizes the importance of breaking this cycle for healthier emotional development. Continue reading
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Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 7 – Gentle Honesty
The post contrasts Gentle Honesty and Brutal Honesty, highlighting their differing intentions and impacts. Gentle Honesty fosters collaboration and healing, encouraging growth, while Brutal Honesty often serves personal validation at the expense of others. It emphasizes the importance of honesty in recognizing toxic behaviors and its consequences in interpersonal relationships. Choose wisely. Continue reading
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Zebra Files 39) Nope
The author shares their struggles with a physical therapy program, experiencing pain and setbacks despite effort. They emphasize the difficulty of radical acceptance and the societal pressures surrounding therapy. The post includes resources for others facing similar challenges, highlighting the need for understanding and support in managing chronic pain. Continue reading
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63) It All Fell Apart
The author recounts tense family dynamics that lead to them leaving home. Here home, school, and work converge to compel the authors risky behaviors. Continue reading
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Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 6 – Bystanders
The content discusses the roles of bystanders in toxic situations, distinguishing between Enablers and Inhibitors. Enablers perpetuate toxicity by encouraging harmful behavior, while Inhibitors challenge it and promote healthier interactions. The text emphasizes the importance of awareness and intervention to break the cycle of toxic behavior and uphold family values. Continue reading
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Zebra Files 38) Welcome Back
The author reflects on their holiday season, expressing hope and compassion despite challenges. They share their return from a break, discussing their health goals and experiences with physical therapy. A daily exercise regimen was developed, aiming to enhance mobility and strength, while navigating the unpredictability of living with Ehler’s Danlos syndrome. Continue reading
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62) Taking a Dip in a Really Big Church
The narrator faced rejection from roommates and felt abandoned by a friend. Despite emotional turmoil, moving into Brocade’s home revitalized their spirit, allowing for personal growth and joy through new activities and belonging at a supportive church. However, pressure from family led to their return home, disrupting progress and freedom. Continue reading
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Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 5 – Check Yourself
The content emphasizes the importance of self-reflection in conflict situations. It encourages individuals to examine their own behaviors and contributions to conflicts, rather than solely identifying others as the source. By fostering accountability and openness, individuals can reduce conflicts and create a more honest and approachable environment in relationships. Continue reading
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Zebra Files 37) Accessing Care
The author shares their journey of navigating healthcare access challenges while managing health issues. They reduced work hours to alleviate symptoms but lost private insurance, complicating care access. Despite obtaining an MRI revealing spinal stenosis, delays in referrals and appointments threaten their ability to return to work by January. The struggle continues. Continue reading
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Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 4 – Barriers
The content discusses the author’s journey to understand and address toxic family dynamics. Reflecting on personal experiences, they emphasize the importance of having tools to create healthier environments. The “Toxicity Toolkit” aims to promote balance and autonomy within families, advocating for gentle persistence in overcoming resistance to change and emphasizing self-improvement. Continue reading
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Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 3 – Journaling
Daily journaling is a valuable practice that helps in self-reflection and understanding emotions. It should be used not only during assigned exercises but consistently, recording feelings, experiences, and insights. Various methods are encouraged, such as writing, audio recordings, or video journaling, allowing personal preference to guide the process. Continue reading
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Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 2 – Private Reactions
The content emphasizes the importance of having private space to process conflicts and behaviors. It suggests that disengaging socially helps individuals think clearly without the pressure of saving face. Writing letters can aid in expressing feelings when direct communication is challenging, promoting understanding and reducing defensiveness. Continue reading
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Toxicity Toolkit – Breakout Topics 1- Emotional Regulation
The content discusses emotional regulation and its importance for personal growth. It emphasizes individual responsibility in managing emotions and adapting behaviors. Techniques such as the Opposite Action are suggested to reframe emotional responses. Practicing emotional regulation enhances outcomes and resilience, while self-care is essential for effective management of emotions. Continue reading
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Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 1 – Listening on Purpose
The content emphasizes the importance of intentional listening in conversations. It compares “Listening to Receive,” which fosters genuine connection and rejuvenation, with “Listening to Respond,” which can lead to exhaustion and superficial interactions. The author reflects on personal experiences and encourages readers to evaluate their own conversational engagement. Continue reading
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61) Two Lesbians and a Maintenance Guy
The narrative recounts a young person’s challenging journey of self-discovery while working at a fabric store. After befriending two lesbians and facing difficulties at home, they seek refuge with a maintenance guy, leading to a complicated relationship. Struggles with autonomy and unexpected situations culminate in a peculiar but humorous incident involving handcuffs and a police… Continue reading
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Recent Posts
- Relational Field Theory – When the Field Sorts the Truth for You
The blog post reflects on the author’s experience of facing rejection from Amazon, initially triggering self-doubt. However, through honesty and curiosity, the author realizes the rejection is not personal but a systemic issue. This insight leads to a deeper understanding and acceptance, highlighting the importance of perspective and personal growth. - Relational Field Theory – Power
Relational Field Theory emphasizes the importance of choosing what influences our sense of self and creativity. The author reflects on a rejection by Amazon, realizing that external corporations shouldn’t dictate personal worth. By recognizing this, one regains clarity and agency, allowing them to select meaningful connections and structures in their creative journey. - Relational Field Theory – Holding the Field
The post explores the concept of Relational Field Theory, emphasizing creation as a process rooted in presence and coherence. It highlights that creative growth stems from maintaining a relational stance amid mundane challenges, rather than seeking domination or frustration. Presence in such moments nurtures ecosystems, even within limiting circumstances. - Relational Field Theory – Creating Through Relation
The blog post discusses a shift in the understanding of creativity from a violent, extractive process to one rooted in relational interaction and authenticity. It emphasizes the importance of creating in connection with oneself and others, where each action nurtures the ecosystem of creativity, fostering a self-sustaining, harmonious existence. - 58) Third Wheel
This post recounts the amusing experience of a mischievous group of students, which leads to an unexpected reunion between Mr. E, and a former crush named Reticence. The narrator plays matchmaker between them, facilitating a nostalgic date at Dairy Queen, which sparks old feelings leading to a sweet, albeit brief, romance. - Relational Field Theory – From Plurallile to Witch — The Lineage of Many‑in‑Coherence
The passage discusses the concept of “plurallility,” describing individuals who possess a coherent, multi-faceted consciousness that transcends traditional hierarchies. These individuals, often labeled as “witches” or “troublemakers” by institutions that resist coherence, embody a relational power that disrupts stagnant structures. Their presence fosters truth and transparency, challenging societal norms. - Relational Field Theory – BTS
Relational Field Theory Behind the Scenes of Relational Theory — When My Outsides Finally Matched My Insides People often ask… Read more: Relational Field Theory – BTS - Relational Field Theory – Housing Curiosity
The author reflects on the transformative power of safety in nurturing curiosity. After years of feeling constrained, a sense of stability emerged when their child bought a house. This newfound security allowed curiosity to flourish, fostering creative exploration and insightful connections. Safety enabled a shift from survival to natural intellectual growth. - Relational Field Theory – The Ceremonial Talking Mic
Relational Field Theory emphasizes a transformative approach for autistic and neurodivergent individuals, replacing distorted communication tools with a ceremonial talking stick that fosters authenticity. This new “mic” ensures attention, truth, and coherence, inviting individuals to speak without masks or filters, asserting their presence and voice within the conversation. - Relational Field Theory – Autistic People are Friggin AWESOME at Relationships
Relational Field Theory Autistic People Aren’t Relationally Challenged — We’re Relationally Exacting For as long as autistic people have existed,… Read more: Relational Field Theory – Autistic People are Friggin AWESOME at Relationships - Relational Field Theory – Autistic Honesty
Autistic honesty is not merely bluntness but a coherence system rooted in a sensitivity to internal contradictions. For neurodivergent individuals, self-betrayal causes distress, and lying is often impossible due to the need for coherence. This sensitivity serves as a detection system for toxicity, highlighting a truth-regulated neuroarchitecture rather than a flaw. - Relational Field Theory – Canaries in the Mine
Neurodivergent individuals, particularly those who are autistic, possess heightened sensitivity to cognitive dissonance, akin to canaries detecting toxic conditions in coal mines. Their awareness of incoherence serves as an early-warning system, highlighting the dangers of societal contradictions. This sensitivity is not a weakness but a crucial ecological function, enabling them to navigate environments fraught with inconsistency. - My Body Belongs to Me by Protyus A. Gendher – Artist’s Showcase
The song “My Body Belongs to Me” by Protyus A. Gendher serves as a love letter to the inner child and a call for self-love amidst past traumas. It emphasizes the importance of consent and personal autonomy, aiming to empower individuals to embrace their bodies and protect themselves from violations. - 88) She Chased Me
The narrator navigates life alone and struggles with health issues, financial instability, and family estrangement. Amidst her challenges, she finds joy in new CNA classes and develops an attraction to a charming coworker. The story unfolds with hints of unexpected pregnancy and culminates in a romantic moment, revealing deeper emotional connections. - Relational Field Theory – Return to Frankl
The discussion on Relational Field Theory highlights how core human insights like meaning and purpose can be distorted into tools of control rather than liberation. While Viktor Frankl emphasized personal agency, these concepts have been twisted into mandates that undermine authentic connection and self-understanding. The goal is to reclaim a more humane and emergent understanding of meaning and purpose.
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