Survivor Literacy

Breaking the Cycles that Tried to Break Us

Outsourced Regulation – Signs & Symptoms

Silhouette of a hiker with a staff on a rocky summit at sunset.
  1. Feeling responsible for someone’s emotional stability.
  2. Monitoring their mood to avoid conflict.
  3. Changing your behavior to prevent their dysregulation.
  4. Feeling drained after interactions.
  5. Feeling like their emotional parent.
  6. Walking on eggshells.
  7. Feeling guilty when they’re upset.
  8. Being blamed for their reactions.
  9. Being expected to fix their feelings.
  10. They collapse unless you intervene.
  11. They escalate until you soothe them.
  12. They refuse to self-regulate.
  13. Feeling “trained” to anticipate their needs.
  14. Their comfort becomes your job.
  15. Losing access to your own emotions.

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