Survivor Literacy

Breaking the Cycles that Tried to Break Us

What Is Outsourced Regulation?

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What Is Outsourced Regulation?

  1. Expecting someone else to calm you down whenever you feel upset.
  2. Requiring another person to manage your moods so you don’t have to.
  3. Using someone as your emotional “reset button.”
  4. Handing responsibility for your reactions to another person.
  5. Making others adjust their behavior so you don’t get triggered.
  6. Offloading your stress onto someone who absorbs it for you.
  7. Treating another person as your emotional buffer or shock absorber.
  8. Depending on someone to prevent your outbursts.
  9. Expecting others to anticipate and avoid your dysregulation.
  10. Using someone’s stability as your coping mechanism.
  11. Making others responsible for your comfort.
  12. Requiring someone to soothe you before you can function.
  13. Offloading your anxiety by provoking reassurance.
  14. Using another person’s calm as your emotional homeostasis.
  15. Treating someone as the manager of your internal state.

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