Survivor Literacy

Themes and Patterns

Journaling

One of the most compelling ways to change our behavior is in finding themes and patterns of behavior.
When we identify our themes and patterns of behavior; we can identify our triggers. When we identify triggers; we can find their causes, address our traumas, and practice replacement scripts to lead to different outcomes.

Journaling helps.

When we’re ranting we’re not analyzing, we’re outloading data. Whether we do this out loud, or in writing, we’re committing a data dump. Data are awesome, and it’s important to collect them. Whether you use a written journal, or an audio or video log, it’s crucial to record the data dump.

You’ll remember things differently later. You’ll forget things entirely. You’ll fill in blanks. The data will change in your mind.

DOCUMENT YOUR DATA DUMPS!!!

Then, periodically read your data dumps. Look for things that happen over and over again. What do you frequently respond to? What do you feel in these moments? What triggers these moments? What happens afterward? How do you feel about it?

What was going on? Was there gaslighting? Is it Love Bombing? Were you using DEAR MAN, GIVE, and FAST? Were you overstepping or overreaching?

If something keeps happening, it’s going to keep happening until you stop it. Figure out what’s going on, then apply the tools to stop it.

Toxicity Toolkit 15 – Week 9 – Love Bombing

Toxicity Toolkit 14 – The Third Month

Toxicity Toolkit 13 – Week 8 – Dear Man

Toxicity Toolkit 12 – Week 7 – The F* It Bucket

Toxicity Toolkit 11 – Week 6 – Collecting Spoons

Toxicity Toolkit 10 – Week 5 – Checking In

Beneficial Negativity

Toxicity Toolkit 9 – The Second Month

Toxicity Toolkit 8 – Week 4 – Praise

Toxicity Toolkit 7 – Week 3 – Untrue Narratives

Toxicity Toolkit 6 – Week 2 – Family Bill of Rights

Toxicity Toolkit 5 – Week 1 – Family Values Exercise

Toxicity Toolkit 3 – The First Month

Toxicity Toolkit 15 – Week 9 – Love Bombing

Toxicity Toolkit 2 – Build Your Toolkit

Toxicity Toolkit 1 – Start Here

Toxicity Toolkit – Holiday Preparation

Forgiveness

Beneficial Negativity

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 29 – More Happy Child

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 28 – The Happy Child

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 27 – TEAM

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 26 – Do Overs

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 25 – Letting Go

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 24 – Encanto

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 23 – Self Care

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 22 – Being Approachable

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 21 – Empowerment

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 20 – Setbacks

Toxicity Toolkit – Points to Ponder 19 – The Silent Treatment